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Dec. 4th, 2004 11:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
indecisionwinsAs a couple other people have posted already, the orchestra concert (Beethoven's 9th) was really incredible. The orchestra sounded great, and John Alston's lecture to introduce it was great also--that really helped me understand exactly what was going on, and made it much better than it already would have been. One of the things he said is that we should imagine being in the audience in Vienna at the premiere, when so many elements of the piece were things that nobody had ever heard before...and I actually did that in a few places, and it made me appreciate it that much more. So yeah, I'm definitely glad I went... I almost was scared away by reading chorus people posting on LJ that they were afraid it wouldn't be very good (especially since I didn't realize that the chorus only comes in at the very end...), so I almost was going to work on my history paper and then maybe go to ML later for Rebecca's birthday party. But I'm definitely glad I did decide to go to the concert... And the chorus sounded good, too--they were clearly supposed to be secondary to the orchestra, but they did add flavor, which sounded nice.
It really is an adrenaline rush, between the ending of the piece, and then helping to give the give the orchestra the huge round of applause that they deserved afterwards. Of course, I really should work on the history paper now (the one on Swarthmore history), since the 2nd rough draft is due Monday afternoon, and I still have a lot more to write. (If this seems weird...he said that the first rough draft could have major holes in it, and mine definitely did...but the 2nd one should be mostly complete, I think...) I have a pretty good idea of what I want to talk about for a lot of it, but it's still hard to actually sit down and write it. (Especially because the part that I should write next is a really critical part, so I keep thinking I should wait until some other time when I'll be more alert. But eventually, I do have to write it... ) I was hoping that that adrenaline from the concert would help me do it now, but it doesn't look like it actually will. But hopefully by not going to ML tonight, I'll feel like working tomorrow...maybe I'll even actually wake up early tomorrow... (I would like to go to ML, but I know that if I do, I won't feel like working tomorrow, and that would be bad, and then I wouldn't be happy about letting myself do that. And that's bad all the way around...) So even though I really feel like I should take every chance I get to hang out with people the rest of this semester, this feels like a time where it would do more harm than good...
Actually, one other thing that that reminds me of that I should post about...a reason why I know I'm going to miss how things are this semester. Last Wednesday, I was sort of exhausted from having an animal behavior lab report due that day, and I had this other little assignment to do for decision-making that I had to do that night that I didn't feel like doing, and I was sitting in my room for a while trying to decide if I should go to ML or not, and wanting to get this assignment done first, and not actually doing it... So eventually, I did go to ML at about midnight. And after about 2-3 hours hanging out with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gerbilicious85...I was happy, and so much more relaxed. And then I went to the computers in ML to do the assignment, and instead saw Jonathan there, and ended up hanging out in ML until about 5 AM talking to him (and ccommack for a little while...). The assignment ended up being later than it already was, since I ended up not doing it until Thurs. afternoon (I had completely forgotten that it was originally due on Tues., and I really wished I had done it then, since I had more time then...), but Barry Schwartz doesn't seem to be that much of a stickler for deadlines, and it was definitely worth putting it off. These are the kind of things I'm really, really going to miss.... And as much as I try, I just really don't think happiness like that will happen spontaneously, first with Susan gone, and then with me graduating...or at least maybe it can happen sometimes, but not very often...and that's really sad...
(Well, at least unless somehow, Susan, Jonathan, me, and Swarthmore are all in the same place in the future. But that's not all that likely, even for next year...)
It really is an adrenaline rush, between the ending of the piece, and then helping to give the give the orchestra the huge round of applause that they deserved afterwards. Of course, I really should work on the history paper now (the one on Swarthmore history), since the 2nd rough draft is due Monday afternoon, and I still have a lot more to write. (If this seems weird...he said that the first rough draft could have major holes in it, and mine definitely did...but the 2nd one should be mostly complete, I think...) I have a pretty good idea of what I want to talk about for a lot of it, but it's still hard to actually sit down and write it. (Especially because the part that I should write next is a really critical part, so I keep thinking I should wait until some other time when I'll be more alert. But eventually, I do have to write it... ) I was hoping that that adrenaline from the concert would help me do it now, but it doesn't look like it actually will. But hopefully by not going to ML tonight, I'll feel like working tomorrow...maybe I'll even actually wake up early tomorrow... (I would like to go to ML, but I know that if I do, I won't feel like working tomorrow, and that would be bad, and then I wouldn't be happy about letting myself do that. And that's bad all the way around...) So even though I really feel like I should take every chance I get to hang out with people the rest of this semester, this feels like a time where it would do more harm than good...
Actually, one other thing that that reminds me of that I should post about...a reason why I know I'm going to miss how things are this semester. Last Wednesday, I was sort of exhausted from having an animal behavior lab report due that day, and I had this other little assignment to do for decision-making that I had to do that night that I didn't feel like doing, and I was sitting in my room for a while trying to decide if I should go to ML or not, and wanting to get this assignment done first, and not actually doing it... So eventually, I did go to ML at about midnight. And after about 2-3 hours hanging out with
gerbilicious85...I was happy, and so much more relaxed. And then I went to the computers in ML to do the assignment, and instead saw Jonathan there, and ended up hanging out in ML until about 5 AM talking to him (and ccommack for a little while...). The assignment ended up being later than it already was, since I ended up not doing it until Thurs. afternoon (I had completely forgotten that it was originally due on Tues., and I really wished I had done it then, since I had more time then...), but Barry Schwartz doesn't seem to be that much of a stickler for deadlines, and it was definitely worth putting it off. These are the kind of things I'm really, really going to miss.... And as much as I try, I just really don't think happiness like that will happen spontaneously, first with Susan gone, and then with me graduating...or at least maybe it can happen sometimes, but not very often...and that's really sad... (Well, at least unless somehow, Susan, Jonathan, me, and Swarthmore are all in the same place in the future. But that's not all that likely, even for next year...)
